Maybe It's Time To Consider Options.

So, I was 80.

I had been 80 for awhile.   I didn't know how long.   I know I documented it somewhere in an earlier blog, & it's a good thing.   Because I just can't remember.

Every day was kind of the same; I'd log in & do my dailies.   I'd organize my shit.   I'd log out.   Sometimes Phil logged on with his Death Knight & so we did run Strat once & that was fun.   But overall it just felt like getting old.

I never had a problem with playing EQ by myself.   I ended up in good guilds, & then the guilds ultimately broke up due to infighting, & I'd have a smattering of friends I'd made ingame that I'd never met or spoken to IRL, & that was fine.

I couldn't really see doing that again, somehow.   I guess because the caliber of people who played EQ was so much higher, intelligence & maturitywise, than the troubled, aggro nerds in WoW.   Just about every person you ever met in EQ was of normal intelligence & was an adult; it wasn't utterly dumbed down like WoW is.

WoW has managed to provide entertainment for all walks of mind, from the organized & aggressively intelligent to the drooling cretins who are probably going to take over the world purely by accidental proliferation.   But I digress.

One day I logged in & I realized that the guys were doing too well on Khaz Modan. And they were never coming back.   And if I just kept playing Tamastara here, on Bloodscalp, that every day was going to be pretty much the same as the day before.   I could BG, I could work on my rep & my professions, but the truth was that everything was just going to be like this.

The truth is, I enjoy playing Tamastara.   I'm not really interested in playing a Death Knight on Khaz Modan.   It's not necessarily even an Alliance - Horde thing.   I think I really just want to play Tamastara.   I can vacation on other toons for periods of time, but eventually I'll just want to go back to Tamastara.

I really do wish I could play with everybody on Khaz Modan. Not because I want to raid, although God knows that's quite novel for me, but because of the company. Certainly I'd get sick of various people, but it's still interesting.

I never thought that I would start caring about being part of a herd, in a stupid game or otherwise. I'm not sure how to feel about that. But then who cares about feelings.

If I didn't play WoW any more, imagine everything else I'd be doing with my life. Or not. Maybe my life has already been ruined, & even if I managed to get clean & to get through rehab, I would still never do anything with myself. I don't think WoW is what killed me though. WoW is just a medium.

Even pvp wasn't that interesting any more. Well, we blew them up too fast. I left after the initial wiping.

I also joined a PUG Vault of whatever. I had no idea how the fights went. I died to fuckin' rocks like 3 for 3. But at least I knew better for later.

It was after that 25-man that I decided it was time to move.   If I'm going to drink, I want to drink better stuff than this.